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Post by Xaa on Jan 31, 2006 2:32:14 GMT -5
Page Sixty. Meanwhile, out in the wastelands of Edom...
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Post by Xaa on Feb 1, 2006 5:10:58 GMT -5
Page Sixty-One. Two men, strangers, were cast adrift when their ship sank, lost at sea, and there was only one life preserver between them. One man was generous and good, and in the name of Christian Charity, he decided he would allow the other to have the life preserver. He eventually grew tired swimming and drowned, but he saved the other man's life with his generosity. At least, that's the story the second man told when he was rescued.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 2, 2006 3:43:17 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Two. The phone rang one day when I was a boy. I picked it up, and said "Hello, who's this?" A voice on the other end answered "God." I was startled for a moment, then smiled. "Wow... Hello, God. I'm glad you called. I have lots of questions." The voice on the other end laughed and said "No, I was kidding! This is your buddy, Gilbert!" "Call me back when you're God," I replied, and slammed down the phone.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 3, 2006 11:49:47 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Three. I remember one time I was driving cross-country with a buddy in a Triumph TR-7. While we were driving, the brake cylinder had what engineers like to term a "catastrophic failure" - it blew open, leaving parts of itself behind. Do YOU know what to do when the brake cylinder goes BLAM and you've got no brakes and are zooming along a twisty, windy highway in a hot Brit sports car with the warp drive set to Ludicrous Speed? Well, neither did my buddy. Fortunately, I was driving. You down-shift and use the hand-brake to stop.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 4, 2006 17:17:00 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Four. Laughter is often called "the best medicine." It has been my experience, however, that this is only true when you're the one who's laughing.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 4, 2006 17:33:22 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Five. It's often said that men are just little boys, grown up. We wanted matchbox cars and action figures when we were kids, now we want real cars and a garage full of tools we never use. But, the same is true of women - women are just little girls, grown up. When women were little girls, they wanted Ken and Barbie dolls so they could put Ken through his paces in his properly-executed plastic woo of Barbie, his perpetual, pleasant smile a pleasing sight to a girl's little heart. And, like us, when they grow up, they expect the same. Your name is Ken. Learn to smile.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 6, 2006 4:17:01 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Six. I love the third panel. It came out just perfectly. Makes you wonder, too.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 7, 2006 10:43:18 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Seven. Sometimes, you don't have to be a genius to see the tide go out. Howard Stern has a contract with Sirius sattelite radio to make $500 million dollars for doing a one-hour show once a day, five days a week. And yes, that's not a typo. Half a billion dollars (or half a millard, for you Brits in the audience). Plus stock options and dividends. Still don't see the tide going out? Sirius is a commercial-free subscriber-based service, and nearly all of the subscribers pay for the service in new cars. Each new car that's ordered costs Sirius a subsidy fee for the manufacturer to put in the radio, the subsidy fee being about $100 a radio. Still not seeing the tide going out? Okay. The subscription fee is about $13 a month. For people who purchase a new car, the first three or four months are often waved to get you hooked. Thereafter, you pay for a monthly subscriptions. The way that works is there's a little eeprom flash card that plugs into the radio. You unplug it from the car and plug it into your home computer or laptop. Then, you use a program to pay online for your subscription, and update the code on your card. Once updated, you plug it back into the car to listen to the radio again. Oh, I bet some of you are seeing the tide go out, now, but you might not know what it means. Of course, there's nothing special about the card itself - it's just an eeprom flash card. So, naturally, you can download the software from the internet for free, as well as the current unlock codes. Since a card already comes with the radio, you don't even have to buy that. Buy a used car instead of a new car, and you can even get the radio free, too. Download the software and the unlock codes for free on the internet, program the card with a few mouse-clicks, and plug it into the car to listen to this half-a-billion-dollar shock-jock for free. Oh, NOW you're seeing the tide going out, aren't you? That's right - it just zoomed out a good thousand feet or so. Naturally, there's still going to be a lot of you who aren't going to recognize what that means, and think trotting down there to take a look at all the fish flopping in the sand will be amazingly cool. Those who are a little smarter, however, are following all the elephants running for high ground. When Sirius announced that they'd added 1.1 million subscribers last quarter, the media touted satellite radio as the "wave of the future." But, the stock didn't rise - so far, it's fallen 20 percent. The smarter ones out there know what kind of wave is coming. What does this have to do with the current story? Read today's post again. That big "whoooosh" sound is the sound of the tide going out really, really fast.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 8, 2006 9:43:09 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Eight. Hmmm... I wonder what Satin is thinking in that last panel? Well, no, I don't, I know what she's thinking. I just hope YOU wonder.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 9, 2006 9:57:00 GMT -5
Page Sixty-Nine Baal has forgotten rule #3 of Workplace Etiquette: Always remember that some subjects are not appropriate for workplace conversation.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 10, 2006 16:07:44 GMT -5
Page Seventy. Satin is no dummy, folks.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 11, 2006 11:11:55 GMT -5
Page Seventy-One. Sometimes, the truth is the most painful thing to learn.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 12, 2006 15:37:09 GMT -5
Page Seventy-Two. Great Flood Myth subject to local dealership availabilty. Your Mileage May Vary.
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Post by Xaa on Feb 13, 2006 11:31:02 GMT -5
Page Seventy-Three Where is Satin going? What does she have on her mind? Oh - wait, I already know, why am I asking you?
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Post by Xaa on Feb 14, 2006 15:18:16 GMT -5
Page Seventy-Four That circle of grass, incidentally, is called a "fairy ring." It's a real thing, too. Actually exists in nature. People who find it often remember the old legends of dancing faeries and mystical creatures... Unfortunately, it's caused by cow-flops. Like many mysteries in life, it kind of loses the 'magical' nature of it when you know the truth.
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