Post by Xaa on Aug 27, 2006 2:28:36 GMT -5
You know, my new neighbors used to be a pain. Playing their music too loud early in the morning, yadda yadda. I've had to go over there a couple times and bang on their door, tell them to turn that crap down, etc.
Well, yesterday, a 50-pound pit bull tried to take a piece out of my ass while I was in my front yard. I drove it off with the knife I carry in my pocket (a little Sypderco thumb-hole folder). My neighbors, helpful people that they are, did not call the police or interfere in any way. They just stood there on their porch and watched a 44-year old man knife-fight a pit bull. I'm yelling for them to call 911, they're just standing and watching like I'm some kind of modern-day bestarii in the collosseum at Rome.
For those of you who just can't live without the gory details, here we go: First rule when fighting a dog (any size): Don't run, it just triggers their chase instinct and they end up tackling you from behind. They are made for this, it's what their ancestors did for millions of years before Og and Bog Caveman came up with the spiffy idea of stealing a few puppies to raise as hunting helpers. Second rule when fighting a dog: If it's below forty pounds, kick the sh*t out of it. Scream at the top of your lungs and kick it until it runs away or it dies. If it's larger than that, make it VERY plain to that dog that if he tackles you, one of the two of you is coming out of it very dead, and you intend to make sure it's him. You have lungs, use 'em. Yell. Not scream - yell like you're gonna kill. Because you better be willing to kill, and besides, it gets the adrenalin going. Rule #3: If you have a good lock-blade knife, use it. Cut to knock aside their fangs as they lunge, stab if they grapple. Use a low stance, similar to wrestling, with your knife-hand forward, hands wide, blade-hand out of the way so he actually has to turn to attack it specifically rather than getting it incidentally as he lunges in.
Anyway...
So me and the dog are facing off. He was originally just going to jump me, but I pulled out my knife, assumed a defensive stance, and let him know with a yell and a glare that I fully intended to kill him - he pulled his charge up short, this wasn't the reaction he expected. For a good five minutes or so that followed, we basically danced around - him lunging at me, trying to figure out how to get a hold on me with his teeth or tackle me (the dog had apparently never fought someone who knew how to fight), and me dodging and counter-attacking. Every time he lunged in, he got attacked in return - a cut with the blade. He dodged pretty well, but so did I, so the end result was he ended up cut and bleeding, I didn't. Cuts that hit were a swat to the head with the blade that knocked his teeth aside and cut him. Well, my knife has a serrated blade, it tears some pretty interesting wounds as a slashing weapon, so after a bit he decided he didn't want a piece of my ass anymore, and ran off.
My neighbors just watched. They didn't call the cops, nothing. Despite me yelling at them to call the cops, they just watched.
Wide-eyed.
I ended up having to call the cops myself. Dunno whether they caught the damn thing, but having people gape at me while I'm fighting a pit-bull was... Well, really, it was ANNOYING AS HELL, dammit. Like I was their free entertainment for the day, or something.
On the bright side, my neighbors don't play their damn music loud at three AM anymore. After all, I might come knocking on their door again.
Well, yesterday, a 50-pound pit bull tried to take a piece out of my ass while I was in my front yard. I drove it off with the knife I carry in my pocket (a little Sypderco thumb-hole folder). My neighbors, helpful people that they are, did not call the police or interfere in any way. They just stood there on their porch and watched a 44-year old man knife-fight a pit bull. I'm yelling for them to call 911, they're just standing and watching like I'm some kind of modern-day bestarii in the collosseum at Rome.
For those of you who just can't live without the gory details, here we go: First rule when fighting a dog (any size): Don't run, it just triggers their chase instinct and they end up tackling you from behind. They are made for this, it's what their ancestors did for millions of years before Og and Bog Caveman came up with the spiffy idea of stealing a few puppies to raise as hunting helpers. Second rule when fighting a dog: If it's below forty pounds, kick the sh*t out of it. Scream at the top of your lungs and kick it until it runs away or it dies. If it's larger than that, make it VERY plain to that dog that if he tackles you, one of the two of you is coming out of it very dead, and you intend to make sure it's him. You have lungs, use 'em. Yell. Not scream - yell like you're gonna kill. Because you better be willing to kill, and besides, it gets the adrenalin going. Rule #3: If you have a good lock-blade knife, use it. Cut to knock aside their fangs as they lunge, stab if they grapple. Use a low stance, similar to wrestling, with your knife-hand forward, hands wide, blade-hand out of the way so he actually has to turn to attack it specifically rather than getting it incidentally as he lunges in.
Anyway...
So me and the dog are facing off. He was originally just going to jump me, but I pulled out my knife, assumed a defensive stance, and let him know with a yell and a glare that I fully intended to kill him - he pulled his charge up short, this wasn't the reaction he expected. For a good five minutes or so that followed, we basically danced around - him lunging at me, trying to figure out how to get a hold on me with his teeth or tackle me (the dog had apparently never fought someone who knew how to fight), and me dodging and counter-attacking. Every time he lunged in, he got attacked in return - a cut with the blade. He dodged pretty well, but so did I, so the end result was he ended up cut and bleeding, I didn't. Cuts that hit were a swat to the head with the blade that knocked his teeth aside and cut him. Well, my knife has a serrated blade, it tears some pretty interesting wounds as a slashing weapon, so after a bit he decided he didn't want a piece of my ass anymore, and ran off.
My neighbors just watched. They didn't call the cops, nothing. Despite me yelling at them to call the cops, they just watched.
Wide-eyed.
I ended up having to call the cops myself. Dunno whether they caught the damn thing, but having people gape at me while I'm fighting a pit-bull was... Well, really, it was ANNOYING AS HELL, dammit. Like I was their free entertainment for the day, or something.
On the bright side, my neighbors don't play their damn music loud at three AM anymore. After all, I might come knocking on their door again.
